Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
someone needs to make a hangover cure that isn't cocaine.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You are cordially invited to the annual finals week stress relief drinking binge at our manor this evening
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
Randomize
