This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
I was like, "um, that's my butthole."
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
bringing my vibrator into the shower with me. if I don't text back in 30 minutes I have electrocuted myself and died.
May the force be with you.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
Am I just high or is she having an auction for her vagina on Twitter
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
It's a sad day when a deadly hurricane headed your way is less depressing than your relationship status.
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
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