Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
Dude ur right that IS what a vagina looks like!
Do everybody a favor and GET LAID MORE.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Stereotypically, lax bros last the longest, but have huge egos that are annoying. Baseball players barely last 10mins, but are really nice. And than we have soccer players, last long and have no egos. Me and my friends have collected our findings.
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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