You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
Sacagawea was the original milf.
I wish I could put booze in boobs and store it for later. I wouldn't need a flask. For $7000, they should do amazing things like that.
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
Sorry I never showed up last night. It was between spending time with you and our freinds or having violent multiple orgasims. I chose the low road.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
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