you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
You text him a porn site address and said GOODBYE ... I think he got the hint
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
You're a waste of cheezeits
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
