I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
My cat gives me a boner
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
We're at that point in our relationship where sweatpants sex has become acceptable...
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Well idk about you but my nose is all recovered for the weekend.
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
You know you're baked when you feel your throat closing up from an allergic reaction to the pecans in the cookie you're eating but you keep eating the damn cookie.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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