Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
ive been sending my husband naked pics of my whole body from my phone..its a work phone. do you think our boss can see? if so, im either getting fired, or a raise.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Pete just told the whole party I'm a squirter
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
He walked in on me masturbating and on my phone but got mad because I wasn't watching porn just tweeting
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
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