no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
you mean i was at the winter classic?
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
My neighbor is on the his front porch in a robe dipping a popsicle into what appears to be vodka. I want to be his son.
Just took the worst coed shower ever. We both cried. AND I only shaved one leg.
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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