Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
That's the best thing about having gay dads, you don't gotta do shit on mothers da and everybody is down wit getting wasted on mimosas at brunch
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
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