a mothers knocking is a guaranteed boner softener
Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
If you wondered to yourself today, "did Sarah break her bathing suit strap and flash a pool full of children," the answer is yes.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
Can you come get me? I woke up in the woods behind the Super 8. I have pizza.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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