I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
Jill you already won the game by finding a dude who will fuck you in flamingo knee socks. Theres no hope for the rest of us
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I legit measured his penis against my chapstick and it was too close to call. So that was my night.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
