the only thing i have to deal with now is the fact that i'm still wearing spandex shorts from last night
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
Are you seriously picking mariokart over a blowjob? nott to sound like a bitch but seriously?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
they described our state of being as looking similar to a crime scene....you were on the ground and i was running around screaming.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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