I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
I should be sponsored by Trojan
winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
Improvement. She went from pretending she was the soccer ball in the world cup games and it hurt when they kicked her to passed out on the floor.
Fell down a spiral staircase. Et tu vodka. Et tu.
the creek. my friends left me at a party next thing i know im in a breaststroke relay race with a bunch of randos in the dark
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
I knew I'd like her from the moment she supported me messing around with my co-worker on my lunch break
There's just something so liberating about drinking a beer with no pants on
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
