This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
OH MY GOD MY UBER DRIVER IS PEEING BEHIND A DUMPSTER
Still got in the car though
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
