how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
Just croosed over that too drunk for chemistry class line
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Like that time I held Annie up and she peed all over the window.. We make a good team.
Someone just got kicked out of the mall for being dressed like a giant cat. I feel like this is in your future.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I'm not sure how to explain it, but I feel like our penises have a connection. Like long lost brothers. We're not even gay.
And now I'm taking a break sitting on the bathroom floor thanking god that people who eat at subway are either too classy to piss on the floor, or are still relatively sober enough to not piss on the floor before 5pm.
Two words: nipple clamps
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