Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
I woke up to a gnawing sound in the middle of the night and asked him what it was. He told me it was the family of squirrels that lives in the wall and to go back to sleep.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I have the Everlasting Gobstopper of boners right now. It's kinda like a gift from god, but I don't want to spend anymore time with this girl than I have to.
cashier rang me up and said, "white people are funny." like i'm NOT the only white person to buy just lettuce & 40 glow sticks
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
He wouldn't shut up so I started sending him pictures of animal dicks
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
