1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I just pulled back the shower curtain to reveal Cinnamon Toast Crunch and a spoon in the bathtub. Ambien is a hell of a drug.
Thanks to you I just drunkenly spot washed a Star Wars hoodie, at midnight on a Friday. If there is a greater level of nerdiness I do not know of its existence
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