if another girl says "im usually cleaner down there" I'm just going to shoot myself
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
Her rack rivals that of the deer I shot last season. You need to get after that.
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
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