Quick, to the slutcave!
my roommate just caught me washing a dildo in the sink.
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
Dude where are you? I've been here an hour and all I've done is get head from a random in the stairwell.
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
He's so in love with you that you could fuck a blood relative and he'd be like "I just want you to be happy"
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
How do I say “I have great tits” without it sounding awful
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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