I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
Randomize