I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
So I totally just remembered that you tried to smoke a hornet out of it's nest.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
I'm stuck on the dance floor between two fat people. I don't think they feel my existence. Please help.
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
