I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Its weird to pet your cat with a boner
What the fuck?
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
There is a 15" subwoofer mounted inside our fridge. I've never been more proud of myself.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Randomize
