It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
Going to have to start putting down newspaper if puking the bed is going to be a habit
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Ahh you know it's going to be a long day when you mistake a beer for a sprite at 10:30 in the morning while babysitting
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I'm so high right now that I'm wearing gloves.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
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