Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
She was shaking her boobs and I was so high all I could think was "breast maracas"
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
