I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
I'm literally naked with a whole pizza in my lap sitting in my chair.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Just looked at the TV in the bar for the weather report. Didn't want to walk home drunk during a tornado warning
Randomize
