just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
he smelled like listerine and beef tacos
I should have some sort of frequent buyer card or something. I just bought my third bottle of Captain this week. It's Wednesday.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I think we might need a safe word for this...
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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