If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
i just got a fart via voicenote. blackberry has officially changed history.
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
