im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
just saw a former disney star do a keg stand. her life choices have improved.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
Bring condoms and burritos. The rest will fall into place
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Cheers to being single today. There's an entire box of franzia with my name on it.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
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