he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Any idea who the guy in my bed tagged as rattlesnake dick might be?
All she said to me last night is that when her eyes roll back, to release my choke hold.
He apologized for his naked psychotic episode and then we had goodbye sex on his sailboat
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
A dry HJ only, please. I don't deserve the comforts of lube after my horrendous fantasy football performance
We can't do acid Disneyworld.
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Randomize