thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
my text book just quoted the cookie monster
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
you woke up and yelled "the tv is moving" and fell on the floor and passed back out
you know you made it when your beer pong table is made from imported italian hardwood
It's like alcoholism for beginners at my kitchen table.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
