glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
this girl ate taco bell on my bed naked last night, it was the sexiest thing ive ever seen
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
The Olympian is in my bed
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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