Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
That drug basically just makes anything that's in your mouth awesome
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Fact: Chilis at the airport in JAX will serve you shots of jack at 6:45 with breakfast. Ya I missed my flight.
So when does your new flight leave?
At my shot/hour ratio.... I leave in 16 shots. I love flying
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
You fucked her?! HER?!
She sent me a nudie pic with a bunch of weed nuggets all over her tits...what was I supposed to do? I don't hate America sir.
one more hour of this work bullshit and I'm off to get high with your cat.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
