Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
At one point 12 people dressed in care bear onesies were up on stage grinding super nasty, and two of the girl Care Bears were making out.
If this wasn't a hallucination, we need to go to this magical kingdom every night of the week.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
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