Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
two fat guys on crotch rockets just invited me to 'party' with them at a del taco. why does this keep happening to me?
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
I told her we could be friends and she said the last time i told her that we had sex behind a bar at 4am
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
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