i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
This may be hard to believe, but that wasn't the first time I was fingered under a snuggie
It's not
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
Listen, yo... we need to have a serious conversation about this Dollar Store toilet paper. Because if I’m going to finger someone’s ass, it’s not going to be my own.
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