Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I have a very awkward question for you. Could you possibly take my black dildo. My mom wants to clean my room.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She was stumbling around looking for her cat. She said i could help, but i had to call him by his jungle name
Your heart is a swirling cauldron of blackness that does not pump blood but rather a sludgey mixture of evil and broken dreams.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Dude she tried to bite my face off last night, literally. I have never actually felt like a piece of meat until that point in life...
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
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