I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
Randomize
