he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
he keeps commenting everything on my facebook. it's like he's virtually peeing on me
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I feel like someone kicked me repeatedly in the ribs. I don't think sex is supposed to do that.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
