I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
I'm in a pile of cheezits at an unfamiliar location watching dateline on tlc. Stage an intervention.
I want to miss work tomorrow on account of violent projective vomit... Make it happen
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
"Masturbate" is an actual item on an actual ToDo list of mine. It is at the top.
Randomize
