Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
You screamed for campus security to do something about the police officer who dumping ur 40
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
First thing on my "to do" list- get sober for community service.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
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