The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
Had sex five times today because there was nothing else to do. I had no idea snow days could get even better than when we were kids
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
Turns out your granddad is cooler than you. We're taking him on our New year's eve pub crawl instead. Sorry.
Randomize
