My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Banging your ex-girlfriends best friend 3 days after you break up is like saying "fuck you" with feeling. I wouldnt have it any other way.
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
My hanfda are one with the u niverse and I am cirretnly inhaling a couch
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
Got arrested last night. My cell mate just added me on Facebook.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
