I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
he called me "his little blueberry cunt muffin"...how would that make you feel?
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
he came in the room wearing gloves & rapping while eating a corndog
knight in shining armor
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
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