I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Wedding cake is always the best dance partner. In the corner. With a jack and coke. And while I'm crying. Listening to "Almost Paradise".
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
Haha, I gave you the rest of the cash I had on me and you bought 3 shots for yourself and beer for everybody except me FUCKFACE.
So I just sneezed blood everywhere. On the upside. After yesterday I feel way more confident AND I give even less of a fuck.
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
