Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Idk dude I just feel kinda weird masturbating in my Obama Biden 2008 shirt...
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
