Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well once I told her I had a girlfriend she actually got more aggressive. Then Danielle called me and she saw the pic of the two of us on my phone and immediately said "can my caller I'd pic be me sitting on your face" wtf?
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
He's still short.... And probably a douchebag. But if we ever run into him downtown I fully encourage you to take him home and have "I hate you douchebag" sex and lick every inch of that disgustingly toned chest.
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
I have 2 phone numbers written on my vagina. I told you I shouldnt be left to my own devices after tequila shots.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Randomize
