He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
she peed on how many people?
Alright, so what's my next move? I already posted a Milli Vanilli video on her wall
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Can I come take down that wallpaper yet? I stopped seeing that dude and I need to occupy my time with something besides getting drunk at bingo night and cussing out old people. Also, i'm not sure on the legal stipulations but I might have, unintentionally, committed grand theft auto at some point.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Seriously, it's 5am. STOP CREEPIN and START SLEEPIN!
I'm trying to find some better sex background music so his neighbors don't hate us. This is tedious.
Randomize
