I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
No no I got the black eyes when I tried to do a flip off the second deck of a pontoon boat. Actually when I did a flip, it was a success.
I should have considered my snorting capabilities before breaking my nose
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
Randomize
