i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
when are you leaving homes?
it's 7:51. why the fuck are you awake at 7:51
I had a sex dream about Oprah.
go back to sleep
dude. it was a sex dream. about. Oprah.
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
My phone just said I texted someone at 430a and said let's fight. Then I texted them an hour later and said thanks.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
