Whod you bang
I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
I have surprise drugs for everyone
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Dick is dick. I’m not turning it down because he’s younger than me. Covid has been a real cockblock and I’m a woman with needs
Randomize
