I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
