yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
filled out health questionnaire for lower premiums a little bit too honestly. Literally got assigned a life coach.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
My life is like a drunken tornado. All over the place and never passing up fat girls
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
Randomize
