sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
