we made out on top of his cat.
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
it's great music for shaving your balls
Apperanlty I was screaming "It's hard to swim with a broken ankle sir" and then tackled the lifeguard. The joys of blackouts
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
He kept referring to my giving him head as a new level in our relationship and acting sentimental
You gave him a bj, not a kidney
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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