i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
so my mom thinks I'm picking you up just to go buy you liquor before you go back to school tomorrow...
I'm ashamed that your mom thinks I haven't already taken care of that.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
