Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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