i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
They let me out of the holding cell just in time for me to get the morning-after-pill. Rock bottom feels even worse with all those hormones.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
She stopped laughing and kind of stared at the wall for a while. Then she did 3 somersaults and said she saw jesus. This weed is fucking fantastic.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Randomize
