I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
I feel like I've asked you "are you okay?" one too many times in the last 48 hours. You're hopeless.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
