He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
there was enough confetti in my bra to throw another NYE party
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
It's official drugs can't kill me
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
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